This Love
by angel1311
Summary: Sometimes things are not what they seem.


**A/N**: This is a Ren/Kyoko story. Well, eventually. At the moment I am starting with Sho. It is inspired by the anime and follows the main storyline almost exactly but I have added in my own perspective of character thoughts and motivations, etc. This is my first story, so please give me guidance. Let me know what you think.

_Disclaim: They are not mine._

**This Love**

**Chapter 1**

He was completely exhausted. It had been nothing but non-stop recording and interviews and general ass kissing for days, this was the first time he was able to make it home in 9 days. But at least the ragging was getting less and less the more he gained popularity, he was still the new kid in the company and despite how much support and praise he was getting from management, he still had a long way to go.

The only thing that had kept him sane was the thought of finally having a quiet moment in the apartment with her, being taken care of and understood and praised and idolized without expectations.

He knew things had not being good between them recently, especially with the way he had been behaving, but sometimes she made it so easy. He could let out all his feelings of anger and frustration and annoyance without worrying about the consequences; she still loved him. He felt a moment of panic at the thought, before he shoved it into a deep corner of his mind. For a moment he sounded like that woman.

Suppressing a shiver, he quietly opens the door.

The apartment is dark and muted; the only source of light and noise is the TV. He can't help the disappointment that wells up inside him. He had called her earlier to let her know that he would come home today. He knows it 2 am but he had thought that she…shaking him head to stop that thought, he makes his way into the apartment.

Dumping his bags by the door, he walks to couch. He could see her right hand dangling over the edge.

She is passed out on the couch. With her legs bent and knees curled into her chest, she looks so little and so exhausted. Even in her sleep she is so tense. The sight digs into him, reminds him of the rare nights in Kyoto when he had kept a silent vigil by her door after a visit from that woman.

Her brows are scrunched together and there is sweat beading on her forehead and neck.

Kneeling down beside the couch, he slowly reaches for her dangling hand and gently tucks it in beside her body.

Her fingers are so cold.

He reaches out his finger and gently rubs it over the middle of her scrunched brow to try and smooth out the wrinkles there.

Feeling how cold she is, he brings her a blanket to cover her.

In the moments it takes him to bring a blanket, she has pulled herself into a tighter fetal position with her arms now wrapped tightly around herself. Almost as if she is protecting herself from some type of harm.

There are tears running down her cheek. It's a steady stream of water which runs across her cheek and her nose before dripping down onto the couch.

He won't try to stop them, he knows he can't.

As the blanket touches her body, a flinch shakes her body.

A sudden whimper breaks out of her body, words come stumbling out,

"Mother…..please…I will do better…..I am sorry….Please stay…..No, Mother please….."

(It's the same nightmare over and over again, leaving Kyoto did not help her)

"…Mother please stay….."

The same words over and over again

"…Mother please….please…please….I am sorry…..Please forgive me…..I am sorry Sho…."

"….I will do better….Please stay Sho….Mother, Sho please I am sorry…."

What?

His heart beats faster and faster as the words keep tumbling out of her mouth and the tears increase and increase.

Mother and Sho?

That woman and Me?

Me?

His heart is drumming in his ears and there is a blackness edging into his visions.

He stumbles with unsteady feet away from the couch.

Finally her mumbling stops. He runs to the bathroom.

The sound of retching echoes.

_Your fingertips are so cold;_

_The warm tears that flow down your cheeks,_

_Steal my freedom._

_(Prisoner by Sho) _

**A/N: Should I continue?**


End file.
